WHEREVER I LAY MY HAT

So I've found a place to live from the beginning of next month. Now the paperwork.

If you've ever tried to rent anywhere you'll know the hoops that you have to hurl yourself through.

Pic dog leaping through flaming hoop

First the bank account details.

Then the referees

No, I meant references.

Two at least to show I'm trustworthy.

Identification. A passport. Friend of mine doesn't have a passport. No idea how he ever managed to rent anywhere.

Then permission to contact bank to check you have money

Then a deposit. Then details of previous two landlords. Erm, I've only had one

Well how about address of previous rental property and landlords details?

I can give you managing agents’ details

That'll do… (I think)

Date of birth

11/5/56

Is that everything?

For the time being

If this all goes ahead I'll be vacating my current place after four and half years with a lot of good memories. It's sad to be going but a whole new world awaits in a new neighbourhood.

I'm busy packing up, cleaning up and generally getting ready to leave. I even think it'll take a couple of car loads no more to move my stuff. Bearing in mind I'm moving to a lot smaller place, so I'm going to have to be tidier.