GOD SAVE OUR GRACIOUS QUEEN

The bunting season is upon us. Everywhere you look there are people nailing up Union Jacks. You can bet shortly afterwards the Bufton Tufton's dudgeon oozes out complaining that it's not a Union "Jack", it's a Union "Flag"! And what's more, it's been hung UPSIDE DOWN!

I think this is a testament to what makes this nation great. Other, lesser countries have simple, user friendly national colours with a simple design which even it's dumbest citizens won't confuse.

Japan.

The land of the rising sun and a pretty fair representation to my eyes.

France. Italy. Spain. Keeping it simple stupid.

It's fairly obvious to even the most inbred Arkansas redneck that the stars bit of the stars and stripes goes top left, although there may be confusion over the exact number of stars there should be as they keep adding states.

I think Puerto Rico is next in line to be added, so it would be America's 51st state and they'd have to rip up all the flags and stick on an extra star.

Just to confuse things slightly each state has its own flag and anthem. However, this does give the population the chance for federal hatred if they are not prepared to travel or have no idea where the rest of the world actually is.

Unstable countries keep their designers busy. Afghanistan and Lesotho are just breaking in new flags I think. It must keep the population on their toes so that they know which one to salute.

You need your wits about you if you are Slovenian.

It could be confused with the Slovakian banner.

So after a night on the borovicka (juniper spirit), you may not be sure which of the two countries you're a citizen of!

Politics aside it would be a pity if Scotland gained independence as I presume we'd have to take the St Andrew's bits off. If the Welsh left too, the English would just be left with the flag of St George which unfortunately these days seems to be mostly associated with shaven headed racists, which is sad.

I like our flag. It is unique. Tells the story of our great nation. It is probably one of the most recognisable in the world.

Go on, describe the Albanian or Icelandic colours. Can you?

Also, we are so confident in our nationhood that we don't have to keep waving it around all the time.

We save it for special events like the Jubilee, when we all rally. Stick it up back to front and upside down. We don't care. It looks great from any angle. We don't care what it's printed on. What we do know though is if it's hammered up outside a pub it's party time!