NIGHT MOVES

After the success of the breakfast party yesterday, I was awake rather earlier than normal so went home and got stuck into the post. The post was like any other post: comprising bills, circulars, pizza parlour fliers and letters for other people.

I have an excellent post lady. However, when she is on a day off that is when the problems can occur.

My address is fairly straightforward but it is similar to some of the streets around which means there can be the odd bit of confusion. So I frequently get mail for houses from surrounding streets and this morning I actually received a bank statement for the previous occupier of my house. Bearing in mind I have lived here since 1999, I am surprised the bank have not realised that the guy has long since departed.

One day I spied the Estate Agents Nark putting a “For Sale” sign up on the house next door. So I did what I am sure most people do (I hope you do anyway!). I phoned the estate agent to ask how much the house was worth as it was very similar to mine.

"Er, that is not the address of the house for sale," said the agent.

"Well your guy is putting the sign up next door and he is leaning on the street name sign as he does it!"

The council get confused as well. And it’s their street.

One day the street lamp failed. So up popped the council and put another one up next to it. This didn't work either. They eventually turned up, removed the original one and fired up the new one. A week or two later they came back and removed it and replaced it with an older looking one in the same place. Maybe it was all a cunning plan. People criticise the BBC for inefficiencies but we are not alone.

Pizza fliers you just have to live with, but on one day I heard an almighty thump and spotted a young lad dumping several dozen pamphlets for a nearby hairdressers’ through my letter box.

I wasn't having this so gathered them all up and popped round the corner to the shop and handed them to the barber, thinking he must have paid a company to deliver them for him.

I was wrong. As I left I heard the man shout "Erriiiiccccc!!!" as he called to his son. I think we can guess what was going on there and who wasn't going to get any pocket money ever again.

My Dad once noticed a kid dumping a bale of free sheet newspapers over his garden wall and wrote to the distribution company suggesting they weren't getting their money’s worth.

Two sides to every story though. I was once told the story of a leaflet distributor who was leafleting cars in a multi-storey park by putting one under the windscreen wipers of the parked vehicles. He was grabbed by the scruff of the neck by a furious man and informed that if he went anywhere near his car he would be dismembered and the various bits would be ground up and sold for dog food. Discretion being the better part of valour he dumped the remaining paper in a nearby stream and headed for home.

What has this to do with the title of the blog today: "Night Moves"? Well, after my early start it was an early night. That for me is round about 7.30pm. This always make 8 year-olds laugh as they stay up way past my bedtime. I like to think that having a child's bedtime keeps me young (although I do draw the line at wearing a school cap and shorts!) Having said that, it never seems to have harmed the careers Angus Young of AC/DC or Ruxton Hayward for that matter.

About 11pm and in a deep sleep I was rudely awakened by a high pitched "peeping" sound. The smoke alarm had decided that it was low on battery power. Along with chiming clocks - which you forget to silence - or a full bladder, there are certain things that you can try and ignore but in the end they will defeat you.

The alarm did just that. I stood it for about half an hour but in the end I realised that it was no use and had to take the battery out.

Accomplished and back in bed and I heard a distinct "peep"!

I have two alarms and had removed the battery from the wrong one.

DOH!

By the way. Hope you are enjoying the new style blog and thank you for the advice on the € symbol which I was unable to access before due to computer ignorance.

€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€ Ha! I Sooo can do this!