WOKE UP THIS MORNIN'

After all the talk of slumber in my previous blog, I think I may have "auto-suggested".

Went to bed at the usual time having phoned - and failed - to get my mate, Wilksee, the flying instructor. He works pilot hours. Which, like boatmans’ time, means you call people as and when necessary and you work until the job is finished. So just in case he called back around 11pm, I turned the ringer off on my phone.

If I am staying with the Dark Lady I always try and wake before the first of the 3 alarms set on my mobile and then cancel any remaining so that I don't disturb her or the rest of the family as I ablute and tiptoe downstairs out into the fresh clear morning

On this occasion I had omitted to reset them.

Most days I awake with a song in my heart. Very often "Does your chewing gum lose it's flavour on the bedpost overnight?" is a favourite. This morning for some reason I awoke to the strains of "Uptown uptempo woman" by Randy Edelman playing in my head jukebox

I glanced watch expecting it to be around 12.45 as is usually the case.

It was 1.20!

I flew into my clothes and into a passing cab, texting Strangelove as I did. It is important that everyone knew what was going on in case I didn't make it in time. Janice Long could carry on and I would then take over when I arrived. After this happens there is the round of grovelling apologies to Janice. Then Mick, her producer. Management. You. Even Strangeo!

I have failed to make it for the start of a show three times over the years. Twice by oversleeping. Once when I overslept and missed the start of a show that began at 10am! Another time at Radio 2, when Katrina (of “and the Waves" fame) was doing the slot which Janice now occupies. They noticed my studio was empty but didn't think to call as I was "never late". Also for some reason no one could find my phone number until 15 minutes after I was due to start. The other time I was late arriving for a 6am start and station opening. I rushed in. Started the station’s opening theme. Got into the news which came from London (I was at a radio station in Leeds). Went to retrieve my bag from outside the front door and heard the door click behind me! I had to wake the landlord of the local pub and borrow a screwdriver to force the lock.

Huge grovelling to bluff northern Programme Director who dismissed the whole sorry episode in one word:

"Pillock!"