Monday 10 June 2013


Have you noticed how things can go in phases? One moment everything can be going swimmingly and the next everything seems to be in the toilet?

Well in the grand scheme of things it's not major but the low level Devil has been out in force trying to disrupt things.

It had all been going rather well. Maybe pride comes before a fall. Was I getting too pleased with myself so was cruising for a bruising?

It's been a terrific few weeks what with the One man band for 2Day and the Radio 2 Presenters choir. The show has just posted its highest audience ever thanks to you as well as recording the highest percentage increase in audience share of any programme on the station. Again, this is due to you and keep it up…please!!

After spending six months in a smelly noisy tiny flat I've moved into a larger place which is blissfully quiet and I even have my own parking space which makes me feel very grown up.

The Dark Lady is a constant source of joy. We had a fabulous week in France and my Step children -Jamie and Ella - are terrific and growing into fine teenagers who are doing well at school and are a credit to their parents. It was Ella's 17th birthday the other week and we had a small get together. She wanted make-up brushes as a gift. I never knew they were so complex! I bought her one and judging by the price it must have been made of panda fur with an ivory handle. It seemed a bit mean to just give her a small brush. So I padded the gift out with other bristle related objects:

Nail brush
3 paint brushes
6 artists brushes
Clothes brush
Wire brush in case she goes rusty
Washing up brush
Tooth brush
Mop head!

From the look on her face you can tell she obviously thinks I'm an idiot. Mission accomplished!

So far so fun. So where is the heartbreak and tragedy? This isn't going to get me into a supermarket tabloid.

"Alex Lester - the tears behind the smile"!

Well there was the recurrent problem with the DL's French doors. The glazing bars kept falling off. Then the beading parted company with the frame. This took several visits and a lot of waiting on before it was fixed.

Hmmm hardly stuff that's going to make a TV soap.

"Tonight on Eastenders: Grant waits in for the gasman:

'You're late. You said between 2 and 4. It's nah five to FIIIVVVE!"

(Spoken in that ludicrous hard man husk that they all adopt to show they are acting).

What else has gone wrong?

Well the boiler in the new flat has decided that it is going to provide hot water only when it feels like it. So filling a bath can be a gamble:

Check boiler alight. Hot tap on.

Turn back on boiler and get undressed

Boiler gone out. Drain bath of cold water.

Relight boiler hot tap on.

Collect towel. Bath foam and rubber duck.

Boiler out. Drain icy bath.

Relight boiler and stand and watch it.

Hot bath.

Still not enough to get me on a daytime chat show to whine about my bad luck and plug my new diet and fitness book.

Hmm must try harder. I know we'll return with another exciting instalment of...

"Alex Lester: my over privileged life hell"

"'Ere Kat.....these chips are cold"

'Doof doof doof doof doof'


Jansparrot. said...

Fantastic news about the programe!
Nothing to do with us, we only listen to it. It's you and your team that really should take the credit.
It's the most audience interactive programe on the station,that and your eclectic taste and you're on to a winner.
As for the hot water well into everyones life a little rain has to fall, as the saying goes.

mwhite229 said...

Love the hat on your one man band extravaganza - you should wear it all the time it gives you an air of intelligence (bet you never thought a hat could do that)but perhaps it only works during daylight hours !?