Santa's On His Way

Dark Lady is now in Christmas overdrive. December is a military operation. Now we are a team. I am trying to help. Although I think I may be hindering more than helping.

Most of the cards have been written. Including ones to my friends and relatives. Many of whom haven't had the pleasure of meeting her yet.

My handwriting. Never good has deteriorated over the years so now everyone including me finds it illegible. So she wrote them and I dictated the addresses. This is teamwork at its best.

The house is festooned with lights and decorations and all that was needed now was a tree. Not any old tree. It has to be 6ft tall and bushy. An even shape all the way round.

I was despatched to Acme Trees to buy one. I think I've got just the one. The whole transaction taking under five minutes.

"6 footer"?

"Arr"

"Bushy but even"

"Arr"

"No that's straggly at the top"

"Arr"?

"Can you get that one out of its mesh wrapper please so I can see it"

"Arr"

"Perfect"

"Aarrr"

It's now in the shed as the tree doesn't go up in our house until the last minute.

The seasonal over-catering has started. Although traditionally my input is largely appreciative.

Xmas morning I shall set off from DL's house. Drive to the Midlands. Collect my Dad. Drive him to my sister and brother in laws house. Have my annual gin and tonic and the full festive Monty.

Er. ..quite. Then in the late afternoon back down to London to hoover up more fabulous food before bed.

This year despite the big day falling on a Tuesday. I'm not on the radio that morning. Roger Royle will be seeing in Christmas morning. Rest of the week however it's going to be me 3.00 til 6.30 and hopefully you!

Don't miss a second. Just like the food. You get bigger helpings this time of year.