FOLLOW THE VAN

Dark Lady and I had to take a pair of settees to France and a desk and other assorted stuff. We needed a van with a tail lift so we could more easily load and offload heavy items.

I trawled the Internet and found and ordered a big van. Then I phoned the ferry company and booked our crossing.

"How big is the van?”

"Er…no idea. Let me have a look"

"According to the website it's 2000mm"

"That sounds a bit small"

"Maybe it's cms?"

"We'll check when you arrive at the ferry port”

“The van was scheduled to be delivered on Thursday afternoon"

Wednesday morning I was awoken from my slumber.

"We've got yer van."

"You're a day early"

"We know that. It's just convenient for us to deliver it today"

"I'm nowhere near you today"

"OK. We'll just make alternative arrangements and get back to you"

That evening the Dark Lady called

"There's a huge van parked outside the house. There's a set of keys on the mat. Must be for us"

Thursday afternoon another slightly smaller van arrived with two blokes in. They loaded two sofas into my larger van.

I felt like standing on the tail lift and beating my chest. Mine was bigger than theirs!

Friday midmorning we set off for the south coast to collect the rest of the load.

We needed to be all loaded up and in Portsmouth for the 10.45pm crossing.

Plenty of time. Also being with my gorgeous wife I had to try and make the experience as enjoyable and romantic as possible. How could this be accomplished?