Thursday, 15 March 2012


A day of frenetic administrative activity which started with me blundering into the family home after the show and waking everyone as I looked for my car keys. Needed to head off from London up to the Midlands to see my dad.

At eighty five he is busily de-cluttering. Ever since my Mother died nearly ten years ago he has been de-cluttering. She liked clutter, so the house was full of curious kitchen implements that were bought on a whim, used once or not at all and put in a cupboard.

These were the first items that were de-cluttered, and many of them ended up at my house. In a cupboard. That they could "come in useful one day" was the reason they were not jettisoned entirely. I tell you, that ravioli maker, the pasta maker and the hinged omelette pan as well as the "Rumtopf" (no idea, it is a big green china jar) will all come in handy at some point... eventually... ultimately!

Straight up to see him without my usual snooze at the services on the M1.

Arrived about 8.30 and he was up and de-cluttering. This time he was culling his extensive library. He has always been a voracious reader and has hundreds of guide books, science books, books on art etc. Very cultured man my dad, which must come as a source of regret to him when he looks at his only son and sees a man addicted to cartoons and who likes fart gags.

"There are a load of books on the table in the kitchen if you want any of them"

There were plenty to choose from. Many I recognised as presents from Xmas and birthdays of yore.

None about cartoons and certainly none featuring fart gags so I opted for a book on gardening which I knew the Dark Lady would like.

Then it was off to Walsall to open a bank account.

There is a trading estate near the town centre, which if a purchase is made from one of the shops surrounding the parking the fee is waived. Luckily they are cheap homeware shops in the main.

Years ago upon discovering this, I would buy a tinned chicken and mushroom pie every time I visited. At least I think that is what they were, judging by the picture as the instructions were in Turkish. I built up quite a collection of these until the car boot was nearly full.

I think I had something like 34 of the pies in there before I actually decided to try eating one. It was vile. So The Clown Prince of False Economy triumphed once again, and they were unceremoniously dumped in the bin. Thirty four times bitten er... twice shy, so on this occasion decided to steer clear of the foodstuff and instead bought a pink spotted oven mitt which I thought "may come in useful one day".

Whilst I was heading back to the car I noticed something about the town of my birth that I hadn't noticed. Possibly a recent development and in these days of urban planning blight a very welcome one. Walsall is never going to win any prizes for the most beautiful place on earth, but it does have things going for it.

So taken aback was I by the sight before me that I filmed it and you can find it on my Facebook page.

Progress isn't always bad I thought, as I skipped to the car park in the spring sunshine.

Then I took my life in my hands as I attempted the tortuous road system to get myself to an estate agent's appointment in the centre of Birmingham.

£2.70 for an hours parking - gulp! Yes, this is certainly the second city I thought as clutching my executive briefcase containing all my important paperwork (see below) as I made my way to my meeting.

All this and the day was only half done.

Stay tuned for the next exciting installment of...

"Ordinary Bloke Has Ordinary Day!"

1 comment:

Slyppery Syd said...

All those books and not a single one on fart jokes - what a waste of paper!
Hissss hisssss.

FART - Funny Alex on Radio Two
BURP: Best Unclean Radio Program