Thursday, 4 March 2010

WOMAN IS THE GLORY OF A MAN

Bit of a quiet week all in all. So was a bit taken aback when I received a phone call after the programme from “.............”.

Although she is now slightly less shy and so has allowed me to reveal that her name is in fact, “K............”.

Just got back to the rental flat when she called and said, “I have one word to say to you”. My mind raced. Was it going to be “love”? “sex”, “wedding”, “hat”, “food”
“sex" (look, I am a bloke we think like this. Sorry!)

“Featureless”

“?”

“You said on the radio this morning that yesterday had been "featureless". Have you forgotten something?”

“?????”

“Who did you see yesterday?”

“I went for lunch with my friend, Janine, and we had onion soup.”

“I know this”

“How?”

“You told me when I came round to the flat!”

“Ulp..whimper!”

“So you forgot about me coming to see you?”

“Whimper...Ulp!”

“You are a very naughty boy. How could you forget? Hmm, this may require a severe talking to”.

“Whimper Ulp. Ulp Whimper”


Gentle reader, we are not heading in a Max Moseley direction here.

“I was protecting you as you are shy and so I thought you would not want everyone to know what we were doing”

“Watching Anvil on DVD!"

“What I mean is, compared to going to see a gig or going on a holiday, it was a fairly featureless day. I was lucky to grab you for a few minutes on your way home as you had to pack your kitchen up before it was ripped out by the fitters, who are going to install a new one starting this weekend. As much as I loved seeing you compared with a weekend in a hot air balloon or swimming with dolphins it was a pretty ordinary day”.

“Hmmmmm”

Oh no, were we heading for our first argument? Would this end with tearful recrimination. Crockery thrown. Phones being slammed down?


Then she started to laugh and laugh and laugh. This woman may be fabulous but I think she has a big teasing streak.

I have had a week of teasing, although it is nice to know that the Best Time of the Day Show punches above its weight in terms of the world at large.

We may be tucked away at 2 in the morning, but we know that we are listened to by a lot of other DJ's. Many sitting note pads at the ready to write down the ideas and use them on their own shows.

So Ss aka Dr Strangelove, my producer, tipped me off that we had turned up on the Scott Mills show on Radio One in his Oh!Whats Occurring? feature.


From what I gather, he and a woman sidekick get some baffled youth on the programme (it’s Radio One, remember) and ask them a question about someone else and how many times they will say something.

So, the baffled youth was faced with the BTOTD show and the fact that it now has the term “shoe” as part of its lexicon, due to the self-satisfied nature of many radio programmes where the DJ delights in reading out messages of undying love from the audience to whit “love the show”.

Due to you, and your finely tuned pomposity antenna, you will have no truck with any of that, hence you decided the way to burst that particular bubble was to take the mickey by referring to it as “shoe”.

So, Scott Mills, his giggly woman sidekick (I think there is a factory that manufactures these people) and baffled youth on phone listened to a tightly edited selection of links from the programme. All of which contained the word “shoe” or similar. The baffled youth guessed 27 but was out by 12, the answer being 39.

Giggly woman and Scott seemed to think that I was a madman.


As we know there are still a few non-believers out there.

They just don't understand. They will, given time. Keep spreading the word.

Remember: “No one else. Nowhere else!”





Hmmm, I feel this blog needs another picture. I have nothing else to give.



I know, it's been awhile...enjoy!






9 comments:

Twix said...

Kylie? Karen? Kirsty?

Matthew Rudd said...

Kevin.

Lady Fluff said...

Kathryn? or indeed Katherine?
Kyreta?
Katisha?
Kelly?
Katrina?
Kumquat???

Annie said...

Alex has referred to "K...." by name on the shoe - when he played "Brand New Girlfriend" in January. I have been a bit surprised that it's not been revealed in a post and have assumed it was evidence of the respect people have for Alex and K.... confidentiality, especially as she feels shy.

Is "Kevin" the name "K...." is known by in Alex's close circle Matthew?

Always look forward to reading the blog!

cassandra63 said...

I'm gutted. You have a new girlfriend and you failed to text me this bombshell. I developed insomnia purely to enjoy you wit, banter and dulcet tones.

Janet!

Cher said...

Seriously if you were dating Alex 'the biggest nerd ever' Lester would you want anyone to know?

Slyppery Syd said...

MMmmmmmmmmmm, this is getting serious. It won't be long before we hear the pitter patter of little feet (a baby Alex). Errr, that's if Alex can remember he actually has a girlfriend.

GrrrNasher said...

Great photos. But is that you in the RHS of last photo (ie. the gnome)? It looks like you have been transformed from a cartoon character to a gnome after tooooo much sex. Wink.

tailendcharlie said...

(she is shy) is almost certainly called either Kornflake - worth getting up for every morning. Or, Kryptonite - makes grown men go weak at the knees.